12-6-2020

My notebook has been damaged somehow, but I digress. 

It has been a long time since I've wrote in this. My brain isn't working abrously (????).

I've noticed a lot of growth. Not from recent times of course, but within my life. 

I did in fact grow up with a negative view on  black people. I don't think it was forced on me, though. We had a black couple who would teach us about the bible. They always dressed so elegantly though. For some reason people don't refer to that as black though. Neither did I. Our babysitter was black and was the type to do her nails and all. I never had a problem with her, until she robbed us. Well, stole. She knew our schedule and ransacked our home, rooms, and stole so much. I think I then associated and had different views on the types of black people. Those who dress fancy casual and sort. And those who listen to rap and are reckless. I didn't even want Barak to win because of his music taste and old pictures of him. I wanted the white man. 

When BLM started (for me) I didn't understand the movement and just said all lives matter. It wasn't until this years election and BLM involvement that made me realize my errors. Every day is a learning experience and I"m glad I'm learning so much about myself with this book. 

I need to write more,

in every

way.