6/28/2021

[Redacted] and I have been through so much and sometimes I wonder if all she does is just a front. Because a lot of things just don't add up. I feel like she's just doing the bare minimum to keep me around as she just lives her life fully. And I'm set waiting for someone who I thought loved and cared for me. 

It feels like she knows how to be sincere when she needs to be but I left my self entirely vulnerable. Maybe I should put my walls back up. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to forgive. 

But then she'll be pushed away even further. She is already distant her friends don't like me, and probably most likely fucked her. And she most likely got rid of all evidence and I will very much get hurt in the end. 

If she invites me over tomorrow which is likely not to happen. Then i'll just pass I need to try and find some happiness on my own accord. She's already whole, I"m the one who's broken. 

I can't be certain.