7-12-2020

Today I worked and all went well. I was thinking about getting back into coding. Pay is super nice, I can have fun, it isn't always the same, and there is a possibility that I can do it remotely which would be super cool! Later on today I'll be skating with [Redacted] and I think it's super cool that him and I have been given this grand opportunity. We won't be like super pro or anything. Well, maybe I'm going to try and be more consistent as well with perfecting my style and cleanliness of tricks. I'm so excited. I had this opportunity before and it's circling back to me. I didn't get any credits by that one shit photographer and that's okay, since there's things for me, and some for others. That victory was for [Redacted] my shine time was to come later, and things are only getting better now. I shouldn't be getting caught up in things that don't work out immediately. It's for a reason. [Redacted] helped me learn more about relationships and myself and [Redacted] is making me realize all i've missed. She is so very special and sweet I'm so grateful. I want to make more money not just for me, but also for her. 

While writing this I feel like I need a better, wider/longer desk. Since yenno, writing is indeed my hobby. I wonder if I should make a little brand about that. After all I already have a poetry account, like, it makes sense. I saw another tiktok about being possibly bi, so it's weighing heavy, but maybe because it's already been on my mind. Besides, I can't have sex with a man ever due to the trauma, so , maybe I should just be content knowing that I'll always be that "gay" friend that girls COULD, could, do stuff with. 

I just want to be content with myself, and with time, it'll happen, till then, I'll keep writing away.