8/12/2020

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote in my journal, but what is on my mind currently is the fact that I get so scared to confront the ones who have done bad to me. Like with my abuser, they've struggled with life so much and maybe they're not right in the head or whatever and then I feel bad if I'm rude to him because I'm like they just want a hug or whatever, but at the same time they're a complete asshole to me, and ABUSED me, not to mention. So what is holding me back. Maybe I feel like I'm in the wrong? With [Redacted] maybe thats the case, but what about my abuser? I was the victim for almost 6 years? I still can't help but wonder how my life would of been had I not been abused. Bi? Gay? Straight just flamboyant? or however its spelled. Perhaps straight but just on the spectrum. All that aside, I wonder how much or - no - new job. Everything is changing, maybe its time for me to do the same or just fight for what is right for the first time.