June 23, 2021

I feel so empty. I didn't know she could make me feel like this. Something changed and one the drive home I thought that something ay have been a while ago. During the break up I tolde her not to wait for me, and to move on. She did, she did while I thought we were rekindling the relationship. And then I became why she stopped progress. Now I'm pushy, clingy, and coddling her emotionally and I have to give her space. The space she'll be leaving me with for good. I'm going to hurt as much as she did, but i'll feel it for a lifetime. I have to give her space w/o giving her space. My biggest turmoil.

I'm also foodless. I can't have tuna daily wtf. I'm staring myself. i'm on a literal fucking water diet and I"m shaking from hunger daily. 

Is that the life I want.

Why didn't I die on my 18th.

What is my purpose. Is my time near?